No matter who you are, or where you're from, everybody has fears in life. Whether it's the rich white kid who's afraid of growing up without any real friends, or if it's the African-American teen growing up in Compton fearing he may not live to see 25. My fears are in between both of those, I'm afraid of loneliness, but I'm also afraid of success. For the loneliness part, to this day I've never been in a relationship, I'm also a very stubborn person sometimes, and that tends to drive people away from me. I'm also fearing for success because you lose your personal life, when you become successful in the way that I would like to become successful (through music). Also when you're successful you never know who is there for you and who is there for your money, it becomes risky business when you can't determine who your friends are.
Just like how anybody can have fears, everybody has obstacles they have to overcome at some point in their life. Whether it's that stereotypical neglected white rich kid trying to knock his drug habit, or that kid from Compton trying to find his way out of his dangerous neighborhood without trouble or crime. For me as a music producer, an obstacle has been my location in Boston, there isn't a large hip hop community music for my music to thrive on. Which creates another obstacle in the sense of having to move to NYC or LA for the possibility of my music to thrive, of course it could also be a big risk, which I would have to determine whether it's worth it or not. Another obstacle which is common in music is staying relevant in a business that's always changing, though these may not seem like struggles to some, for somebody like me pursuing a career in music.
Some assets I do hold however, is that I persevere, and continue on no matter how hard something may be. I'm also very ambiguous, and I believe that everybody has greatness when they look into themselves. I'm also known to have my ear to the ground in terms of music, and a lot of my friends come to me to find out the latest on new music. I'm also very honest which people seem to enjoy, when they're looking for a genuine opinion, because they know I won't hold back from what I want to say. Finally I would say that I have a lot of connections from how I've been raised and how sociable I am, and with that I can strive to get anything I need in life.
Perseverance
I'm running the track of life
Jumping over invisible hurdles tryna catch my breath
That fears cutting deeper than the tip of a knife
The more I run the more I find
These obstacles got me going out of my mind
I can't back down though
I need to keep on running through it
I can't let them see me frown, no
I can see the finish line now
I feel my body giving in this is all it can allow
But I fight off my demons
I box through the darkness
You know what to do when life hands you lemons
So I feel my adrenaline, it gives me a boost
I get to that last 100 meters now
I reached the finish line, take a bow.
Good post.
ReplyDeleteYour fears of success are quite interesting. Maybe you mean to say a fear of "fame". Fame is a hard thing for most people to cope with, and a lot of your concerns seem similar to that situation.
Mo money, mo problems?
Good poem. I like the line, "I box through the darkness"
It's good. I like your honesty about the situation. You obviously have a dream of working in the music industry, and many of your posts refer to this. But what else is driving you? What if you don't do music forever?
What's plan B?
What are your other interests, and where else can your skills be applied?
GR: 90